I’d like to take this opportunity to share with the men in my life what many of the women I know who have participated in #MeToo are saying to one another today.
We’re saying that we hope that men don’t focus only on the dramatic and horrifying stories that they’re hearing.
Don’t misunderstand. Those stories must be heard and they aren’t heard enough. But, if you focus on those stories, then you might not fully appreciate the everyday reality that most women are talking about when they say #MeToo.
The most destructive experiences most women have are the constant injustices and indignities – the wallpaper of our lives – that get completely internalized because if we actually noted every instance we would never get through life. The grinding, exhausting, unremitting combination of being simultaneously threatened and ignored saps energy, ambition, joy, and resilience. It impacts absolutely everything. So please, make sure to take that away with you, too.
If you don’t, then you also might be able to avoid asking yourselves what you have done, or not done, that made this constant condition of women’s lives continue, unremittingly, despite all of your support for women’s agency.
Martini Wisdom 