Thanks for your input.

Did Clinton’s smile seem stiff/did she smile too much?

Neither of these is actually the question of the day, it seems. The question of the day is – “Why aren’t we allowed to ask these questions?” That’s the question that David Frum and others want answered.

I know, people. It’s tough.

There’s this thing. You can see it. The smile that’s a bit much. The outfit that’s so unflattering.

You’re invested. You want Hillary to do well, either because you sincerely think she’d make a good president or because you’re scared to death of the alternative. So you wish that she didn’t have this flaw, this weakness. You want everyone who’s still undecided to have a clear path to liking her. You don’t want her to put up any roadblocks between herself and even one more potential supporter.

So you mention it. Just as a useful note, some helpful coaching. And all of a sudden, all sorts of people are telling you that it’s off limits. You’re being unfair. You’re not allowed to criticize Hillary for this because it isn’t something men get criticized for.

But this is so confusing. You swear you can remember male politicians having their smiles made fun of. Let’s face it, everyone is having a blast making fun of what Donald looks like. And you actually support Hillary! It isn’t a sexist observation you’re making. You’re rooting for her!

You just want her to be the best version of herself that she can be in order to please the most people.

But there is something that you don’t understand. And it’s the thing that all of those people saying ‘Hey! Off limits!’ understand.

This is it. There is no version of her that hasn’t already been scrutinized and critiqued. For her whole life. She is very well aware of everything she does or says. Every laugh, frown, vocal tone, gesture, outfit, hairstyle, has been self-policed and policed by others. This is what becoming a woman is – calibrating who we are and what we want with what is expected of us. And there is probably no other woman on the face of the earth who has gone through a version of this universal female experience to the degree that Hillary has.

So to insinuate, at this late date, that she is somehow unaware of her flaws, her shortcomings, or worse, that she – we – just don’t care or just don’t want to hear it, seems a bit ungenerous, quite frankly. Accusing Hillary of a lack of dedication or a disregard for the stakes, even now, doesn’t seem quite fair.

There is no note, no pointer, no helpful hint, no supportive criticism, no little suggestion that will be constructive. They’ve all already been made.

And I’m sure she appreciated the input. Just like we all have.

So what you see is what you get. Because to be honest, there are no more adjustments that can be made before the original just snaps, breaks, tears. This is the point at which you just have to decide whether she, we, are pleasing enough, are satisfactory. Because she – and the rest of us saying ‘Don’t go there!’ – understand that if it hasn’t been altered to please you by now, it can’t be altered. Or this alteration came at the price of another one. You can’t have it all.

And if one more supporter can’t be lured into Hillary’s camp because she failed to make that last little correction…? Well, she’ll probably be sorry to have disappointed you.